Like a monkey swinging vine-to-vine, we move through a forest of life’s stages and hopes and dreams, j-u-s-t releasing one as we take hold of the next.
The LORD has been thinning the forest and vines ever-so-gradually over the last years. I’ve had more things to release and surrender, but fewer and fewer to reach for, to grasp and hold on to.
Then last night, I let go of the single remaining dream I harbored for this life. I’ve been nurturing and praying and waiting for years. It was taken away and now it’s done.
I feel like I’m sitting very still on a little grassy knoll. This is very unfamiliar to me; is it human nature to always be working toward something, planning and readjusting and figuring how to achieve it? I have none of that, now. There are good things happening around me that make me happy, but nothing is “mine.” How strange to have not one dream or goal or thing I’m hoping for.
Am I deceiving myself, just sitting out, letting the last “best years” of my life slip away? Or perhaps, am I now in a place where I can be useful somehow to the LORD? He’s very quiet. I really don’t know.
I can only wait.
Coffee with God 