It’s been two months since our trip to Portland and the wedding. I wrote description to my friend after we got back:
I had a moment one day when we were walking downtown – all the kids were quite a ways ahead and I was hanging back with Julie (my sister-in-law) who couldn’t keep up. As I watched the kids ahead, I had an overwhelming feeling of being blessed – like a pitcher of water being poured over my head filled with blessings, overflowing.
Suddenly, like a switch, as the kids got further ahead of us and further away, I felt overwhelming sorrow at my loss of them. It’s a little hard to explain but God has gently been removing them from my life for quite a few years now and I’ve learned to surrender them to Him.
But in that moment, I realized He’s not done yet and I have to let go even more. It makes me so sad but Jesus, I trust in You.
I’m still pondering that experience and what it might mean. I don’t suppose I’ll really know until everything unfolds in due time.
But Jesus, I do trust in You. Lord, help my unbelief.
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