My God, why have you abandoned me?

Tonight at mass our Psalm was the most heart-rending one I know … it brings me to tears.  From Psalm 22:1:

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

We also read the passion from Mark’s gospel. I’ve always been interested in the way people view Jesus’ repeating those words as He hung on the cross:

And at three o’clock Jesus cried out in a loud voice, Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachthani? which is translated, My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? (Mark 15:34)

My friend Rachel thinks that He knew people listening would recognize those words from the well-known Psalm; that it would have pointed them back and helped them realize that He was fulfilling scripture.  I agree with that.

I’ve heard others say that when Jesus cried those words, our Father had, indeed, turned His face away from Jesus because Jesus had taken on the sin of all mankind and “a holy God can’t be in the presence of sin.”

I disagree with that one; if the Holy Spirit dwells within me, then He is certainly in the presence of sin.

Personally, what strikes me is that once again Jesus is showing He is completely human, experiencing all of the things we experience.

When I went through my own dark night of the soul, I also could not perceive God near me. He seemed so far away, as if He had turned His face from me … as if He had abandoned me.

I know He didn’t … maybe He has never been closer to me than during that time. But in the midst of that trial, it didn’t feel like it.

I know our Father was close to Jesus, grieving His pain. But in the moment, Jesus couldn’t perceive our Father.

Our Lord and Savior knows … really and personally and intimately He knows … what it’s like to be “us.”

To me, that is amazing.

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Holy Week

Leila posted this at Little Catholic Bubble today …

We are heading into Holy Week in a matter of days, guys! Oh, how the soul craves Holy Week. Growing up, I didn’t really partake in any of the Holy Week liturgies, and now I soak them up like a sponge. Or, like a thirsty man in the desert grabbing hold of a clear, cool glass of water. Pure, clear, simple, life-saving.

Amen, amen, amen! I completely understand her sentiment … I am also craving Holy Week and the Triduum. I long to hear the words Jesus spoken to me that He spoke to the disciples  in Luke 22:15 …

He said to them, ‘I have
eagerly desired to eat this Passover
with you

Somber … hopeful … waiting …

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Glorify your name!

The longer I walk with God, the more I understand how trials really are a blessing, meant to teach us and to turn us toward Him.

Last week we had a reading from John 12:

“I am troubled now. Yet what should I say?
‘Father, save me from this hour?’
But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour.
Father, glorify your name.”

Father, glorify your name.

I find myself breathing this prayer often now as I pray for myself and for my loved ones. I sometimes picture myself holding people in the palms of my hands, praying for them. But “I” am only doing what I’ve been led to do … holding precious people who have been given into my care only for a time. I don’t want to see my loved ones suffer; I want their comfort and joy.

But more than that, I want them to be saved … to leave this life and spend eternity in God’s presence.

If it takes suffering now to accomplish that, am I willing to trust God? Should I pray for their comfort if it robs them of opportunities to learn, opportunities to turn to Him?

I am troubled now, yet what should I say? I say I trust you, Father;  I know your plans for us are good even if we are unsure or feel lost and afraid. You know how dearly I love these people for whom I pray; and I know you love them far more, far better, far more deeply. So help me release them back into Your perfect care; help me to pray for them in ways that are pleasing to you. And most of all …

Father, glorify your name!

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Anima Christi

My prayer this morning … I love praying it once for  myself, and then repeating it with changes to include the loved ones for whom I pray.

Soul of Christ, sanctify me
Body of Christ, save me
Blood of Christ, inebriate me
Water from Christ’s side, wash me
Passion of Christ, strengthen me
O good Jesus, hear me
Within Thy wounds hide me

 

Suffer me not to be separated from Thee
From the malicious enemy defend me
In the hour of my death call me
And bid me come unto Thee
That I may praise Thee

With Thy saints and

With Thy angels
Forever & ever
Amen.

 

 

 

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Slavery, the holocaust and abortion

What do slavery, the holocaust and abortion have in common?

Please think about it … it’s very important.

• All involve two groups of people: one with all the power, the other with no power.
• Those with power attempt to define those without as sub-human; not “really” people.
• Those with power had many reasons why it would create a “hardship” for them if their power over the others was taken away.

I keep hearing pro-choice celebrities saying, “Why are we talking about this again?!! I thought it was all settled! ‘They’ want to take us back to the dark ages!”

I sincerely believe that if we ever overturn Roe v Wade and outlaw this abomination, we will some day look back at it like we do the holocaust and slavery … “I can’t believe people stood by and thought it was ok!”

What do slavery, the holocaust and abortion have in common?

Please think about it … it’s very important. In fact, it’s truly a matter of life and death.

 

 

 

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Mid-way

Last night I was thinking about the fast I am committed to this Lent.

I had been doing very well, allowing it to turn my thoughts to prayer often throughout the day. But the last part of this week I’ve gotten sloppy and I know it. I was thinking I needed to re-commit myself.

This morning I read:

“… today [as we] mark the halfway point between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday, let us redouble our fasting and abstinence, prayer and almsgiving, and continue to seek a deeper understanding of our faith from Scripture and the testimony of the Church and Her Saints. But let us not mistake any of these things for the purpose of Lent, or become proud of our own efforts. Instead, let these all be tools to aide us in our question for true devotion, “to love God and serve Him alone.”

Half-way through Lent … already! Wow! That surprises me and inspires me.

I really do want to redouble my commitment. God isn’t half-ass in His giving to me … I don’t want to be half-ass in my giving to Him.

And more than that, I want to remember the reason why I do this. We live in a hurting world that desperately needs prayer and needs God. He has asked me to pray for others and I sincerely want to be His faithful servant, to do what He has asked and to do it well.

It’s such a small thing He asks of me, and then He gives me the strength and the guidance to accomplish it.

What an amazing God I serve!

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Friday reflection

Driving to work this morning, I was thinking about how sad I feel for us all in this world. We can be so unkind to each other … hateful, accusing, robbing each other of peace and dignity.

It is sad for the victims, and equally sad for the offenders. Each sin we accept, each time we turn away from doing what is right, every instance that we wallow in evil … I believe our hearts are hardened a little bit more. 

Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.

God is kind and merciful; I pray He searches us and reveals Himself to each of us, softening our hearts and opening our eyes to Him …

… to Love. 

 

 

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Cool Insight

Scripture has so many layers and details; it’s really wonderful to hear the lessons other people have gleaned from familiar passages.

I was following a discussion on another blog yesterday that started with the story of Jesus healing the young man possessed by demons who named themselves “Legion.” Here is the passage in Mark 5:

They came to the other side of the sea, to the territory of the Gerasenes. When he got out of the boat, at once a man from the tombs who had an unclean spirit met him.  The man had been dwelling among the tombs, and no one could restrain him any longer, even with a chain.  In fact, he had frequently been bound with shackles and chains, but the chains had been pulled apart by him and the shackles smashed, and no one was strong enough to subdue him. Night and day among the tombs and on the hillsides he was always crying out and bruising himself with stones.  Catching sight of Jesus from a distance, he ran up and prostrated himself before him, crying out in a loud voice, “What have you to do with me,  Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I adjure you by God, do not torment me!”  (He had been saying to him, “Unclean spirit, come out of the man!”)  He asked him, “What is your name?” He replied, “Legion is my name. There are many of us.” And he pleaded earnestly with him not to drive them away from that territory.

Now a large herd of swine was feeding there on the hillside. And they pleaded with him, “Send us into the swine. Let us enter them.” And he let them, and the unclean spirits came out and entered the swine. The herd of about two thousand rushed down a steep bank into the sea, where they were drowned. The swineherds ran away and reported the incident in the town and throughout the countryside. And people came out to see what had happened. As they approached Jesus, they caught sight of the man who had been possessed by Legion, sitting there clothed and in his right mind. And they were seized with fear. Those who witnessed the incident explained to them what had happened to the possessed man and to the swine. Then they began to beg him to leave their district. As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed pleaded to remain with him. But he would not permit him but told him instead, “Go home to your family and announce to them all that the Lord in his pity has done for you.” Then the man went off and began to proclaim in the Decapolis what Jesus had done for him; and all were amazed.

The main point of the discussion was about “deliverance,” especially from addictions. The following is a comment by a poster that I think is really cool; I hadn’t thought of it before nor heard it and I’ve been thinking of it ever since. I just thought I’d share it here:

The thing I love most about this story is that this now-delivered man wants to stay with/follow Jesus, and Jesus says, “No.” Because the townspeople just asked Jesus to leave the area, he knows he won’t be able to speak to them or touch them in any way. But this man is more than able. He gets to walk around his hometown and be a living testimony and go places Jesus would never be welcome. That is what we should hope for in our lives. That our stories and testimonies would be able to go places Jesus isn’t welcome and affect change.

Adam

Amen, Adam – well said!

 

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I’ll pray for you

“I’ll pray for you.”  When someone says those words to me, I trust that they will. And when I tell someone I will pray for them, I mean it as a promise to be kept.

I was pondering last night, though. On just an ordinary day when I haven’t asked for prayer, is there anyone out there who simply says a prayer for me for no particular reason … “just because?”

I wasn’t wondering out of pride or self-pity … I was just reflecting on my own prayer life. We all have many people around us who genuinely care about our well-being and who are willing to offer physical help and support.

But do they pray for me?

Do I pray for them?

Prayer is personal, and private; it’s hard to know who has an active prayer life. I only know that for most of my life I would pray “for” or “about” specific people and circumstances, but I seldom simply prayed for someone in general without being asked and without a known crisis in their life.

That is changing, and I am learning. The LORD has been teaching me, leading me into a deeper prayer life and showing me how important it is to pray always for others, without ceasing. I treasure the people He has placed in my life and if I treasure them, I should take care to pray for them.

I know some of their struggles, but not all. I don’t know the spiritual state most of them are in. But God knows each individual intimately; He knows every need, every pain, every struggle. It is so cool sometimes to simply be still and ask God to bring people to mind for whom I should pray. Sometimes He causes me to think of people who I had otherwise forgotten long ago; it’s a blessing to remember them again. Sometimes I see faces of people I don’t know; sometimes shadows of individuals completely unknown to me.

But each and every one is known to Him.

I have been blessed in this life beyond measure; I have had people who I know have prayed for me without being asked. I am sure I’ll be be surprised someday to see how many times I’ve been given protection, guidance or blessings because of their prayers.

So many people really have no one who prays for them.

I want to be that person.

Teach me, dear God. Lead me in prayer, bring to mind those who need Your healing touch, Your guidance, Your protection. Show me how to pray for each; wrap your arms of perfect Love around them. Open their mind and their heart to You – turn them to You – help them to seek You and to know You.  And at the end of their days, dear LORD, bring each home to You.  In Jesus’ name I pray.

 

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Back in Balance

I think there are many reasons why God may allow or bring a trial into our lives.

Sometimes it is to break us … to bring us to a point where we can no longer deny our need for Him. It causes us to cry out, reach out, to seek.

Sometimes it is part of the Holy Spirit’s continued work within us, making us holy.

I am confident of this, that the one who began a good work in you will continue to complete it until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6)

I think these types of trials transform us, helping us to really become patient or forgiving; teaching us how to surrender, or trust, or to be still.

And sometimes, I think trials are an opportunity for us to see our growth – to take stock and see where we have been and areas we may need to work on with Him.

Last week was a week of trials that normally would have caused me great anxiety. Driving home from work on Tuesday, my car completely died.

It wasn’t a dream car, but it was less than 10 years old, it had less than 100,000 miles on it, and it had some nice features like a sunroof and a cd player. And most of all, it had been paid off for over 2 years. No car payments make life so much easier!

But even without consciously making an effort, I felt calm and very grateful, counting my blessings. It would have been much worse if it had broken down just two days earlier when I was traveling three hours away. Mark and Mitch might have both been away, leaving me nobody to call for a ride home. And while I don’t look forward to monthly car payments again, I can afford them and won’t have to struggle to pay for other important things like groceries or medicines.

So in many ways, this “trial” simply revealed the many blessings God has poured out on me. That’s a big change for me. By nature I am a worrier, and spent much of my younger adulthood fearful – afraid of many things, not at peace and not in joy.

But now, in spite of struggles with depression and trials of life, I can honestly say I am at peace in the depth of my being; I know joy in God even during trials.

I get knocked off-balance at times, more easily than I’d like and I wouldn’t boast that my faith will never be shaken … I think of Peter saying he would never deny Jesus. But I’ve come a long way and I know He will never leave me alone on this journey home.

I am back in balance; I am grateful for my trials and what they reveal.

Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thess 5:16-18 )

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