Calming and Quieting Myself

“My plan for you is not the one you have created and entertained in your mind. My plan for you is the one that is unfolding day after day in all the humiliations and apparent failure to achieve great things that make up this phase of your life.” (From In Sinu Jesu pg 116)

This ties in both with my posts earlier this week, plus something He showed me several years ago. Then, people were arguing whether “works” or “acts of obedience” could save us. My response was YES! They can! God gave Noah a very specific work to do – build a boat. I don’t know how much sense this work made to Noah and certainly it was crazy-talk to other people.

What if Noah had said instead, “LORD, I’m going to build a home for orphans and widows. You talk about them a lot in scripture, clearly this is a good work, I have dreamed of it for years and that’s the work I’m going to do and I will dedicate it to you.”

Would Noah and his family have been saved when the flood waters came? I think not – God saw what no one else did. He planned the work, gave it to Noah, and used Noah’s work and obedience to bless him and his family.

Likewise, I had a big dream that was a “good” dream. But clearly it’s one that I “created and entertained” in my own mind.

It’s ok to be sad about this failure, this loss of my dream. And while I’m not yet making sense of His plan that is “unfolding day after day in all the humiliations and apparent failure to achieve great things,” I do trust Him. He sees clearly what I do not.

As I pray the Liturgy of the Hours I have noted this psalm each time I read it; I think it’s time to memorize it and take it to heart:

Psalm 131

¹My heart is not proud, Lord,
    my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
    or things too wonderful for me.
² But I have calmed and quieted myself,
    I am like a weaned child with its mother;
    like a weaned child I am content.
³ Israel, put your hope in the Lord
   both now and forevermore.

 

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deja vu

A song of ascents. Of David. LORD, my heart is not proud; nor are my eyes haughty. I do not busy myself with great matters, with things too sublime for me.
Rather, I have stilled my soul, hushed it like a weaned child. Like a weaned child on its mother’s lap, so is my soul within me.
Israel, hope in the LORD, now and forever. (Psalm 131)

The LORD brought this Psalm before me two times yesterday in two different Bibles, so it was already on my mind when it was my scheduled reading this morning!

It made me think of a passage in Sirach that the LORD used to humble and quiet my heart. I thought I may have blogged about it last fall so I searched this morning and had to laugh …

You see, one of my frequent prayers is that the LORD make things very plain for me. I know I second-guess myself to a ridiculous degree. And here, He answers that prayer.

The very thing that this Psalm spoke to me these last two days, it spoke to me last fall. Here is a post I had made in Dec 2010 titled Mysteries, and I couldn’t have said it better myself!

——-

One of today’s readings was Psalm 131:

1 My heart is not proud, LORD,
my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have calmed and quieted myself,
I am like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child I am content.

I hadn’t really noticed this Psalm before, and I really loved reading it today.  Earlier this month, in this post, I wrote about how God had brought me to a passage in Sirach, Chapter 3.  I see an echo of one from another:

20 What is too sublime for you, seek not, into things beyond your strength search not.
21 What is committed to you, attend to; for what is hidden is not your concern.
22 With what is too much for you meddle not, when shown things beyond human understanding.
23 Their own opinion has misled many, and false reasoning unbalanced their judgment.

I love that. I have been guilty of being obsessive about knowing Truth about various topics – searching and studying.

But sometimes, as in these passages, God lets me know it’s ok for some things to remain a mystery. He quiets my spirit, and redirects me to attend to the works He has entrusted to me.

I think it’s good to simply appreciate the mysteries. There is a peace in simply trusting God.

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